Sometimes it's not what we think...
Today is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
This morning I received emails from both the Office for Seniors and Heartland Bank, encouraging awareness of elder abuse. Most of us immediately think of financial scams, neglect, physical harm, or coercion. Those issues are real and deserve attention.
But I found myself thinking about a different form of abuse.
The subtle kind.
The kind that doesn't make headlines.
The kind that slowly shapes how society sees people once they reach a certain age.
As a 68-year-old business owner who still works energetically, contributes, learns, and plans for the future. I wonder when we collectively decided that turning 60 meant beginning a slow retreat from life.
Why is it considered normal for banks to become more cautious about lending to older people in business, regardless of their experience, assets, or ability to repay?
Why do we often assume retirement is the goal for everyone? Historically it was brought in to make a person’s life easier in the last 5 years of life.
Why is the conversation so frequently about "downsizing," "slowing down," or moving into retirement villages rather than asking people what they actually want?
At the same time, we celebrate politicians, business leaders, authors, artists, and community leaders who continue making valuable contributions well into their seventies and eighties.
There seems to be a contradiction.
On one hand, we acknowledge that people are living longer, healthier lives some would say than previous generations.
On the other, we often treat ageing as though it automatically reduces a person's value, capability, or relevance prescribing protocols even though the risks are under 5% over 5/10 years.
That, to me, is a form of ageism.
Not necessarily intentional.
Not necessarily malicious.
Real nonetheless.
Growing Older Does Not Mean Giving Up
Many older adults want exactly what they have always wanted:
Purpose
Meaningful work
Financial independence
Community
Contribution
Choice
Some people thrive in retirement villages and care facilities. For many families, they provide safety, companionship, and support when it is genuinely needed.
It is one option - a choice - among many and not the assumed destination for everyone over a certain age.
The most important word is choice.
Some people want to travel.
Some want to volunteer giving back to what they benefited from
Some want to start businesses.
Some want to write books.
Some want to care for grandchildren.
Some want to keep working because they enjoy it.
And some simply want to stay in their own homes and communities for as long as possible.
The Cost of the Story We Tell
The stories society tells matter.
If we repeatedly tell people that ageing means decline, dependence, and irrelevance, many will believe without question..
If we tell people that their most productive years are behind them, some will stop imagining new possibilities.
If we treat older adults primarily as consumers of care rather than contributors to society, we lose an enormous amount of wisdom, experience, and capability.
I have met people in their eighties who are building businesses, mentoring others, growing food, volunteering, learning new skills, and contributing every day.
Their age is not the most interesting thing about them.
Their contribution is.
A Different Conversation
Perhaps on World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, we need to broaden the conversation.
Yes, let's talk about scams, financial exploitation, neglect, and coercion.
But let's also talk about assumptions.
Let's challenge the subtle messages that suggest older people should quietly step aside.
Let's ask whether our systems encourage independence or dependence.
Let's celebrate the many people who continue to contribute, create, work, love, learn, and lead well beyond the age society once considered "old."
Ageing is not a problem to be managed.
It is a stage of life to be lived.
And perhaps one of the greatest forms of respect we can offer older people is not deciding for them what their future should look like.
It's giving them the freedom to choose it for themselves.
