Old ghosts come to visit

Lee Harris said this in a podcast, and I thought of it again today while reflecting on grief.

We often say we miss someone who has died.
Stephen Jenkinson, in Die Wise, describes grief as loving someone you can no longer see or physically touch.

What a powerful thought.

Perhaps grief is love for the unseen.

That idea also made me think about identity — the versions of ourselves we once were, and the roles we loved and still do.

Young bride.
Traveller.
Mother.
Daughter.
Business owner.
Now grandmother.

Sometimes we grieve people.
Sometimes we grieve seasons.
Sometimes we grieve who we used to be.

We can stand beside another person and assume we know what they are feeling, but we rarely do. The inner world needs kindness, questions, and honest conversation.

I’ve learned not to fight grief.

I give it space, because beneath it there is usually love, connection, and something that mattered deeply.

And when grief visits, I try to ask:

What am I grieving?
Who am I honouring?
What still lives in me because of them?
Can I breathe and make room for another feeling too?

Sometimes the old ghosts come not to haunt us — but to remind us of love and determination to live our life well.

If grief, change, or life transitions are asking something of you right now, I offer gentle one-to-one conversations.